Tony Abbott sides with ISIS on marriage equality
AS the United States Supreme Court rules in favour of marriage equality in the US, Tony Abbott and ISIS have both opposed same-sex marriage.
The cheering across the USA had barely begun before our Prime Minister was being asked if the decision had any impact on the debate here in Australia.
Frisky Business senior reporter Jenn Dakuir reached out to spokespersons for both the PM and ISIS, with both confirming their opposition to same-sex marriage.
"Marriage has always been a sacred bond between a man and a woman, and that's how our laws define it," said ISIS chief Abu Ayman al-Iraqi.
"There is no same-sex marriage, it is unnatural, against Allah's law, and an abomination.
"We will be Allah's righteous punishment to the sodomites!"
When asked if he would characterise his views as homophobic, al-Iraqi denied it flatly, saying "How dare you call me that?"
Shortly after this interview, our reporter was arrested on charges of terrorism for reaching out to ISIS chief Abu Ayman al-Iraqi.
Coalition spokesperson Will Shortin denied there was any link between the Prime Minister's opinion on marriage equality and the stance held by ISIS.
"Australians, the Australian Parliament and the Prime Minister are committed to ending this terror threat," he said.
"All of our resources, our best minds, and some of our best work with the community is being put towards showing that we will not be terrorised and we will not be a target.
"The gay community will soon be defeated."
Local stores will be out of dark hair dye for men until after Laurie Daley is finished with the supply.
Frisky Business is satire. It is not real.