Mike Knott

The one question you should ask on a date

FIRST dates are a two way thing - obviously, you want to make a good impression of yourself, but you also need to suss out whether your date is right for you.

According to psychologist Robert Maurer, there's one simple way to work out what your date is really like - just ask them how their last relationship ended, reports The Sun.

If it sounds a bit scary, you can gently flatter them with "So, how come someone as wonderful as you is still single?" to get them to open up.

First date? There’s one question you need to ask. Picture: Supplied
First date? There’s one question you need to ask. Picture: Supplied

Theoretically, your date will hear that as a compliment, so they'll be encouraged to come clean about their past - which will be vital in revealing their true colours.

Dr Maurer then suggests you listen carefully: "As they relate the stories of their last relationship(s), are they taking any responsibility for choosing poorly or not having the right skills at that point in their lives?"

Speaking to Psychology Today, he explains that if they play themselves up as the victim in all their past relationships, then you should get make an exit excuse as quickly as possible.

Essentially, it means that if you were to encounter problems in the blossoming relationship (which is inevitable), then they will simply wait for you to take the blame, instead of working on ways to solve them.

If your date blames their exes for their failed relationships, get out, pronto! Picture: Supplied
If your date blames their exes for their failed relationships, get out, pronto! Picture: Supplied

Arguments and conflicts are unavoidable, but the key to a happy relationship (and marriage) is the ability to work through them.

So if your tinder date blames their exes for every failed relationship, alarm bells should be sounding in your head.

"It is hard to make an effort to repair if every problem is the other person's fault," Dr Maurer explains.

"So look for someone who is willing to look inside for the source of the problem and for solutions, nothing is more vital for a relationship to thrive."

This story first appeared in The Sun.


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